you know what..

i am so fckn angry. perhaps angry is not the word. maybe frustrated. okay screw this shit i'm angry. you think things are a certain way and then theyre not. and before you realise it the world you knew no longer exists and no one had the decency to tell you about it. not a clue. its like all of a sudden the earth explodes and you are the only one left because you managed to be abducted by an alien 5 seconds before impact. and then as you speed away you look back and youre like WTF. ALIENS? WTF. EARTH EXPLODED? WTF. ALIENS? NO ONE FCKN TOLD ME ABOUT FCKN ALIENS. AND EXPLODING PLANETS. I AM SO ANGRY.

and thats how i am right now. my state of mind is so mind bogglingly frustrated and GARHMTHERFCK that i had to put this down to try and release some of this shit before i explode. and send little brown pieces of nick all over my nice computer screen. didnt sound right. brown as in thats my skin colour not brown like.. shit brown. anyway.

STILL ANGRYYYYY. you know i guess its true what they say that humans are creatures of habit. we like things just so. thats why we invented stuff like numbers. so we could say LOOK! there are FIVE books over there. FIVE. and in my hand i have TWO dollars. and you do not have ANY dollars therefore i am superior to you and you can be my slave. and from there we grouped things: LOOK! over there are FIVE books. TWO of those books are about COWS and the other THREE are NOT ABOUT COWS. and so on. and so, over the couple million or so years that we have been around.. or the few ten thousand if you want to count from when modern H.Sapiens sapiens diverged from the common ancestor (yes i got 48 in bio -_-) humans have evolved a genuine love, if not obsession and addiction to organising any and everything into some sort of system.

in this way, we have a sense that we are in control. like ohmygod because i know where everything is i can control it all and therefore i am the lord of the earth. SO. i guess its not my fault is it. its genetic. I MUST HAVE ORDER.

and therefore when things suddenly CHANGE and i have absolutely no WARNING i get kind of a shock. and i get angry. wouldnt YOU get angry if someone overtook you in their car without a signal? im sure you would. so now im in a period of change. and anger. and change. and anger. but change nonetheless. and anger.

but the thing is i dont WANT to change. sometimes you just wish for the past you know? when things were so much happier. and less complex. garh the complications of a teenage life. can i just get married earn some money and retire now? that would be so much easier. someone find me a wife.

someone i can be friends with would be nice. she doesnt have to be the prettiest.. as long as shes nice. funny. a bit different? understands me. someone i can talk about what a craphole society is becoming with. someone i can talk about interesting sciencey stuff with. someone who enjoys the arts. culture. music. the fine arts. but someone who does so without a sense of snobbery or being better than those who may not understand said arts. a modernist. but also a traditionalist like me. you know those old asian values. im still an old fashioned boy at heart. man im building quite a list ay. future wife you are out there. lol.

last night i had a dream. with a witch in it. she looked like the one from the wizard of oz with a big green nose and black pointy hat. there were like 15 of my friends (in the dream they were my friends) sleeping in this scary old house for some reason but i had to go upstairs with the witch to a 'special room'. i passed through one room where there werelike scary looking people sitting in chairs: a guy with a jack-o-lantern head, a mummy and a dracula. they looked at me and i was like 'hi guys' but i was shit scared. then i went into another room with another 3 weirdos in chairs. one looked like the penguin from batman. wtf this is like halloween. lol. anyway. i sat down and the witch is like NOW SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR HANDS. I HOPE FOR YOUR SAKE ITS WHAT I THINK IT IS. i was like 'okay.. but i dont have anything.. LOOK' and i opened both my hands and in my right hand was a scrunched up receipt from the commonwealth bank and shes like AHHHH and then steps back. and then one of the 3 weirdos gets up from behind me and puts a gun to my neck and pulls the trigger. and i actually didnt feel scared at the time. well i did. but i wasnt like fully panicking. i just sat there and closed my eyes and felt a blast through my neck. however thats supposed to feel. and i opened my eyes and i was like 'oh. right through the neck, huh' and i saw the witch in front of me and then the weirdo blocked my view and put the gun to my forehead. i closed my eyes and was like okay this is it. and he pulled the trigger again and i felt my head flop forward. and it was like.. i was alive for 5 seconds after i 'died' haha. and i heard the witch say something that i forgot. and then it all went black. and i woke up. and i was like HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A FCKD UP DREAM. and my feet were sticking out from under the sheets.

they say the probability of having nightmares gets closer to 1 if you are cold. my feet were cold.

okay so now im not as angry as i was at the beginning of this post. but still.. confused. and a bit.. depressed actually. hopefully i wont have any more weirdass dreams. like that one where im driving but i cant control the car. just moving slowly.. drifting around.. no control except for some weaaaaaaaaaak asssssssss breaks. that are so laggy its like gah shit.

so now im going to go. keep moving on with my life.

nite y'all. hope you have a better one than me.

my hands...

they smell like curry paste. cause today i made some..umm.. sour..soup. thats probably what youd call it in english. somlor m'chou kreung in cambo. like a spicy sour soup. and when you fry the paste the smell goes into your hands and into your skin and it smells like that for the rest of the day. =

anyway today i went to numberworks. which is where i have my tuition job teaching kids maths. actually now its called 'numberworks 'n words' because theyre teaching english this year. and i was supposed to get there at 9.45 to start at 10am and my mum woke me up at like 7.30 and i was like arrrr i'll wake up later. and then i woke up. and it was later. and it was like freaking 9.30 and i was like OHSHITOHSHIT. and i like got ready in 5 mins and got to the bus stop. and i got there at like 10.10. which is okay i guess. luckily my boss is nice and understanding and i wasnt actually responsible for a class. but tomorrow i will be. AIYAH. with another new person lol. but still. we're both kinda inexperienced but its okay. i have been teaching since.. last year!! lol that makes me feel better. hope i get like.. just 2 kids. that'll be easier.

okay um what else . yesterday was enrolment day for pharmacy and the other things taught at monash parkville. there was this girl who would like not stop talking. which i suppose is good in some respects cause we're all new and shit like that but yeah. i guess im not the overly talkative type. not until you get to know me and i get to know you. then i'll be talking my ass off all the time. making comments and jokes (lame and dirty) everytime someone says something.

okay now thats it. good night readers.

hahah

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,21073993-661,00.html

i know that this is like a serious offence and all.. but i really couldn't help but smile when i saw this on the news. it was like 'TONIGHT ON NATIONAL NINE NEWS.. a man is caught after using a camera in his shoe to look up skirts'

and i was like BAHAHAHAH =D =D YOU MAD KENT. im sorry. this is actually quite inappropriate for those girls who got photographed. but being a boy i can see the cheeky side to this. funny stuff.

and i know what i was angry about last time! I CANT FIND MY YEAR 12 GRADUATION CERTIFICATE. even though its not from the school and only some mp lady who didnt even hand the piece of paper to us.. i want to frame it so my frames are all evened up. GARH.

okay thats all. that pervert guy did it for 4 years. damn. and his system was so sophisticated. double damn.

alright. im going to go think about this. LOLOL jk GOOD NIGHT.

oiyoiyoi hothothot

so damn hot leh. and then we had the powercut in the afternoon.. aiyah. and its still hot tomorrowwww aiyohhhhh.

enough with the asian sentence enders. lah. uni offers out today. actually yesterday and yes i did go and buy the newspaper on monday night and yes i did get in to the course i wanted which is pharmacy at monash. so there we are. glenny class of 06 can so open a health clinic when we all graduate: doctors, nurses, dieticians, dentists, physio? and of course pharmacy. and all the accounting and commerce kids can do the finances. and some others can sweep the floor and make the coffee and brush my teeth and wipe my bottom.

so.. also offered pharmacy in south australia but i declined that one. sydney offers come out tomorrow. so far i have been offered science/law in tasmania. i dont think so.

now i forgot what the other thing i was going to talk about is. or rather, was. so i shall say good morning to you ladies. and gentiles. on account of its past 12midnight and therefore what seems like night is actually morning.

good morning.

night
ok i dont really know what happened. but now you can click on these two pictures and see a bigger version. smile. cbf doing more fiddling. gnite yall.

morning

photos

tea ceremony - gong and ma (my grandparents) and bride and groom



ahnick, younger sister and jie jie at botanic gardens sydney


me with flower girl cousins


restaurant at night. left to right: ah ma =grandma, mother, younger sister, me (p.s. cambo clothes are hot okay. lol), bride, jiejie= older sister, groom =mothers cousin, ang moh bro in law=jiejies husband, ah gong=grandpa, father.


me and cambo batman. lol yes i taught my little cousin to be a fob like his big cousin nick.


me and same batman cousin again =]

bored.

lol whoever 'me' is in the comments of my last post it actually isnt me OMG FASCINATING WHO COULD IT BE your hypnotising worked. because i am now updating. how exciting.

i figured i should at least give you a post because you are my readers and i love you. lol. and its like a long time since i last updated. AND

this is the first ahnick.blogspot.com post for the year TWO THOUSAND SEVEN. or twenty hundred and seven. or twenty oh-seven. i prefer the first one. however you say it, this is doi ek gai post ie. the first post for you non-teochiu people.

random:
- people.
- pee pole
- peep-hole

i really dont know where that came from. actually i do. i was saying the word 'PEOPLE' in my head in a fobby asian accent and i was like pee-pouu.. PEE-pohhhhhhh and suddenly the other two words popped into my head. and i thought i should share it with you all because i am random and you love it. so deh you goh, pee poles.

now. what has been happening. ooooh yes. I AM BORED. need to go out and see people because i have not done so in a while. a long while. and im getting lazier and soon my muscles will start disintegrating into nothing because i am not using them oh my god i will disappear all together. thats what biology taught me. use it or lose it. its actually true.

anyway. um. been to sydney and back since my last post. good fun. will post couple of photos from the wedding next. ummmmerrrrrr.. want to go again for another uncles wedding in february. maybe stay for chinese new year.. havent had cny with my grandparents in like.. 10 years =( but i feel obliged to come back to melb because its basically my mum and me who do all the rituals and stuff at our house so if i dont come back WE WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR A WHOLE YEAR AIYAH. so maybe not. bc itll just be me going to sydney if i do go for this feb wedding. sister will be back at school. parents at work. hehe home alone oh yeahhhhhhh.

okay what else. i dont know. i sorry. watched 'army daze' again today. singaporean movie about national service if you DOHN KNOW WHAT. made me realise that my singlish is actually very crap. i sound more like lee lin chin than i do ah beng. like all i do is put on an accent and kinda speak normally just with a few words missing and dodgy vocab. and chuck in a few singlish words here and there. but WAHLAU MAN. these ah bengs talk like.. like.. WAHLAU MAN. like i dont understand what they say. like um. say again? ...again? aiyah TOK ING-LISH MAH.

yah okay. think its time to sign off for now. i now have over 4 hours of driving experience. yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. good innit.

see you next time ah.

goo nite ^^